Oh Summer 2024, you sly little minx. You’ve been a doozy in all senses of the word.

Summer 2024 has been eventful to say the least and the best way to wrap it up is to share some of the songs on my playlist and thoughts on new releases from the season. Stick around for the full playlist.

So last I caught up with you all, I was trying my best to see the light of a really sad situation in the Spring. I’d been grieving some big life changes that took place over the course of the past year – everything from leaving my old church community to my old ways of operating in the world to being ignored by my ex to the final blow of losing my beloved job. Truly, the sadness was eating me alive right as the sun was starting to shine. But, I knew the sadness wouldn’t win.

When the final blow of my layoff had been delivered, the primary feeling of gratitude rushed in as I was fully realizing that something big was happening. All these endings needed to happen for whatever was next.

It started with my first ever trip to Europe, where I fell in love with London (like I knew I would) and got a preview of a pre-Olympics vibe in Paris. London electrified my heart and soul in a way that comforted my inner teenager for all the growing pains we’d gone through in the past year. I mean, I went from breaking off my romantic entanglement in the middle of June last year to frolicking in the city where my teenage inspirations took shape this year. An upgrade to say the least!! After meeting some fellow American music professionals living in London, the scheme of coming back to work in London planted its seed in my heart.

If London gave me a preview of the future, Paris drew me into a reverie. I was less excited about Paris going into the trip because it’s not a city exactly known for its music and I unfortunately can’t speak much of French. It was still beautiful, but the vibes felt off. I found myself feeling a sense of impending doom, knowing that I had to deal with reality after this. Not to mention, the pre-Olympics chaos was very overstimulating for me. So I ended up dissociating on the train and crying about my ex and all the endings again. The amount of dissonant vibes that I encountered was enough for me to come to the conclusion that if I lived in Europe, I could only do Paris for short trips. But at least I wrote some poems and got my very own custom perfume there.

When I returned from gallivanting in Europe, reality set in and I knew it was time to pick up the pieces. I started getting unemployment and looking for my next job. At first, I felt confident if not running off some adrenaline; after all, I’d just developed a killer marketing skillset that I could apply anywhere and at any level. But then I realized, I have THE say in what I want to do next. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to answer to my parents or to a predetermined structure. And the world became my oyster.

It was weird to hold the joy of this uncharted territory with the very real grief still hanging above me. And so I knew that my new self-compassion toolset was needed more than ever. Summer became full with visits from my sister and her kids, a daily one on one call with my best friend (who was also going through it) in Seattle, hang outs with all my other best friends, and then, a part-time job opportunity that has been so aligned with my calling to support artists. I leaned into the light and began to realize that what I really wanted next was to 1) live and work in Asia again and 2) be closer to supporting artists in my next role. But first, I needed to take my art seriously.

So I returned to my goal of producing my EP and made so much progress that I rediscovered the joy in developing my production skills. I started wondering, what if I took myself as an artist seriously, at least for a couple seasons. After all, embracing my inner artist (and by default my inner teenager) would help me best serve the population I care about most. And another first time happened: I felt the shackles of perfection fall and the colorful shawl of “it’s safe to experiment” fall on my shoulders. I’ve never felt so free.

And somehow, it felt like the world around me took notice of the new light emanating from me. So much so that I ended up dating a very nice French musician visiting LA in August. Talk about a plot twist lol. He is a lovely person, but I decided that I’d rather support his move to LA than to worry about the development of a serious relationship – especially with my life being influx as I plan to leave LA in 6 months (God, I REALLY hope I won’t be in LA in 6 months lol).

So yeah, talk about a major shift. Things are bright ahead and ya girl is in the driver’s seat. So let me show you all the songs that soundtracked Summer 2024.

Highlights

Taking It Slow by Never Ending Fall

“She broke it all at once now I’m taking it slow…”

The summer really started off on a sad note, but I couldn’t be THAT sad because my boys in Never Ending Fall were gearing up to release the album I’ve been waiting 2 years for. And I was PUMPED that they decided to finally release one of my favorites…just in time for me to stew in the breakdown that was being laid off from my job. The synths in this song are SO juicy and dreamy and just fit the vibe of wading through the emotional rubble. But it’s my boys’ lyrics that empowered me to remember that I “need to try and make better days” and make my own mistakes in this next chapter. So thanks for that y’all.

B2b by Charli XCX

“Took a long time breaking myself down, building myself up, repeating it…”

brat summer was inescapable…and I was HERE for it. brat was literally released the weekend I was let go so it was kind of weird to be really damn sad and be all “365 party girl” but then as I listened to the album, that’s what brat was actually all about. Hot girls own their sadness!! This song in particular spoke to the sadness I was feeling about needing to be in yet another season of grief. But just like I had decided with my ex, I couldn’t go back. And this song was the reminder that I can’t go back. Also it’s so funny to me that when I first heard this song, I didn’t like it. But it grew on me so much that it’s become my favorite on the album. It’s so sonically interesting. Like the beat feels off but it works so well that it’s kind of addicting.

Strawberry Jam by COIN

“She likes me better when I’m taking my time…”

I love that my co-music supervisors (they have clearly been co-conspiring with Bad Suns lol) returned with a word of kindness. I remember driving to the last happy hour with my old coworkers and just holding this song in my heart. And it became a source of joy for me as I unpacked it all. In a way, I’d started to see that being let go was actually a bit of a blessing because now I had the full understanding that I could make bigger changes. Like my daydreams of living and working in a different country for a while. But I knew it would take time to unpack and strategize. So with this kind song, I let my inner teenager speak her ideas for new schemes.

Water the Flowers, Pray for a Garden by Valley

“I’ll water the flowers and pray for a garden, ‘cause honestly I’m just all out of options…”

So this is likely the song that Christo Bowman, Chase Lawrence, and Valley had been hiding from me for at least a couple years!! I went to a COIN VIP experience a few years ago and I remember asking Chase about the song that Christo and him had been writing on an IG story I had seen. He had said then that they had enlisted Valley to contribute to it. I knew that whatever that song would materialize into would be both a punch in the gut and the warmest blanket to my soul. Sure enough, when I heard this song, I felt both those things. My soul immediately felt seen, especially in the season I was walking through. Sonically I could hear COIN in it so I had a suspicion that Chase Lawrence had been involved. But I didn’t realize until the day Valley released the album that Christo AND Chase had been part of the writing team. And the way it punched me in the gut and met me exactly where I was at made ALL the sense. Literally, I don’t know how Chase and Christo just know what I need to hear. It will continue to stump me. ANYWAY, the Valley album just has so many tender bops, highly recommend you listen.

Supersad by Suki Waterhouse

“Swear to God I’m over being so damn scared, I look so much better when I don’t care…”

Suki Waterhouse is the definition of cool girl music to me. So to hear this song meet me in the “I’m so tired of just being sad about things” state of mind, I loved it. It felt authentic, like there was part of me that was so eager to take the new beginning and run with it. But the baby step had to be that I needed to focus on where to take action as much as I needed to make space for any feelings of sadness. Because Suki was calling out what I felt was right, there’s no point in being super sad.

Hang On by Jelani Aryeh

“Running off, but I’ll hang on I hang on…”

I have loved Jelani Aryeh’s music since I couldn’t get “Stella Brown” out of my head. This song, even with all its autumnal references, felt just so summery and free. Maybe it was my subconscious feeling of wanting to run away but it was such a lovely song to soundtrack me picking up the pieces of my life. Jelani’s album is just such a beautiful collection of songs. I highly recommend you check it out.

Done With You by Omar Apollo

“I’m so done with you, done with you, done with you, done…”

Omar releasing God Said No was everything to me ngl. So many gorgeous songs about grief in different shades. There were a lot of sad songs in it that I definitely appreciated but I definitely felt myself struggling to sit in the slow sad songs. And that’s because I had started to hit my sad song limit. So that’s why “Done With You”, with its easy breezy vibe, stood out. I really liked the album and although part of me was ready to add it as a contender for my album of my year, I had a feeling something else would dethrone it. But it’s still a damn good album.

But Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift

“Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all…”

This song stood out to me in the summer because as I realized all the newfound freedom had been in the works for an entire year, I felt a lot like the main character in this song. My ex was the “chaos” and the “revelry” and meeting him was the electrical charge to my soul that made me realize I didn’t want to silence myself or make myself palatable to as many people as possible anymore. Even though he was not in the picture anymore, I carried with me the joy and freedom of moving forward in places that were encouraging my growth. And so now, in this summer freedom, I wanted to run with the full abandon to wherever I could grow next. Other people’s opinions of what I should be doing be damned.

🙂 by The Japanese House

“Something’s happening, I feel happier. I could be losing my mind but something’s happening…”

The Japanese House wrote this cute little love letter of a song about her girlfriend. The sentiment and vibe of it met me in the moment of realizing that sometimes your happiness looks insane to the people around you. I was unemployed and living with my parents at the prime of my life…and yet, the feeling of contentment started to sneak in that something big was on the horizon. And sure enough, it was starting to show itself when I got a part-time work opportunity from an old boss of mine from my early Output days to build something new.

Every Little Things I Say I Do by Dayglow

“Every little thing I say I do, do it all for you…”

The practice of self-compassion in this season looked like setting new goals and taking baby steps towards them. Mr. Glow came out with this sweet bop to encourage me to take action on the big things I wanted to do next: whether it was self-producing my music project, making a plan to move abroad next year, or even to look for opportunities that align with my mission to support music artists. I’ve had trouble with justifying those bigger dreams because in so many previous structures I was part of, they didn’t make much sense. But now that I was so free, it felt like it was time to take the baby steps real.

Nomad by Clairo

“I’d run the risk of losing everything. Sell all my things, become nomadic…”

Charm is such a gorgeous album. It felt like a good bridge between the indie pop Clairo was known for and the jazzier vibe from her last album. It’s a Sunday morning breakfast kind of album, where you can just kind of ease into the day. It’s still warm like Sling, but it feels less wintry. I really enjoyed listening to it. But this one felt right in this transitional season. I was daydreaming about running away and becoming nomadic, rightfully so. But something in me told me to lean into this season and just be present with myself. It made no sense for me to ignore the ongoing grief. And so Clairo was right in that I’d rather be alone (and grieving) than a stranger.

Boring by Alice Lee

“And you never ask why we live just to survive. We do what we’re taught just to drown in our thoughts…”

This song so perfectly described the discontentment I was feeling with the old structure of my life for the first half of the year. And as I processed it, I remember wrestling with the fact that I didn’t want to live in a structure that was so comfortable. It was boring to live a life where the goal is being comfortable to me. I found it strange processing that LA is a place that so many people dream about coming to, and yet I felt entirely too comfortable planning my life around here for the next year. Now, I was born and raised in LA so it feels very naturally human to rebel against your hometown. But I just needed to take seriously the feeling of planning a leave.

Soup by Remi Wolf

“If a plane’s on the ground, it can never really get that far…”

Remi Wolf FLOORED me with this song. It was a sonic treat and this perfect combination of quirky but heartfelt lyrics. I fixated this song so deeply as I felt the mid-July sadness creep in. As much as I was leaning into the baby steps of moving forward, I still felt the sadness creep in about my ex situation and now the fact that I was no longer contributing to my old workplace. I was so ready to anything for both of those situations and living without them felt so weird. They were both such good things in my life at some point and it felt unfair that I didn’t have true control over how they ended. But it said something about my loyalty and that’s what I needed to hold. Remi’s album was a sonic wonderland that accompanied me on many evening walks to get me present.

Creatures in Heaven by Glass Animals

“I don’t think I realize just how much I miss you sometimes…”

No contest, I found my album of the year in Glass Animals’ latest project. On so many levels, this album was the key to unpacking what was all happening. This song was the lead single and I avoided it for a while because I didn’t want to let myself get too sad. But when I started sitting with it, it made me feel like there was finally space for me to exist in my sadness, in my grief, and in my resolve to move forward all at the same time. This song gave me so much space for that. It is a sonic treat and just so earnest. I couldn’t stop listening to it (and I still can’t stop listening to it). That’s all I’ll say for now about this song because I’ve already started working on my end of the year album reflection.

Take It Or Leave It by COIN

“Don’t go breaking my heart, don’t tear me apart…”

COIN did such a good job of choosing their singles from their album I’m Not Afraid of Music Anymore. I really love this song. Chase Lawrence is one of my favorite songwriters of all time. He has a such a great handle of painting a vividly emotional picture of a scenario. I felt myself feeling really vulnerable in this summer season and this song so beautifully met me there. The weird part about it was that I was open to dating again. I definitely wasn’t expecting to meet anybody so when I started dating the aforementioned French man in August, I had this Chase Lawrence-inspired feeling to not take anything too seriously. And it did save me heartbreak in the end.

Work It Out by Joe Jonas

“Dust your shoulders off, life’s gonna work it out…”

Joe Jonas releasing solo music this summer was something I didn’t know I needed. Joe went through a very public divorce last year and as a fan, it sucked to watch how messy it got for him and Sophie. But if there was one good that I hoped could come of it, I hoped solo Joe music could make a return. This song felt like a sweet reminder in this transition period I’ve been in. It was like knowing that if Joe can move forward from a heartbreak like that, so can I.

Oontz by MICHELLE

“You said you loved me, is this what loving feels like?”

This song is a BOP and a half. Underneath the grooviest groove I’d heard in a while, I found myself working through some anger as part of my grief process. It all revolved around acknowledging the hurt I felt from the aforementioned endings. Of course, I kind of fixated on my ex situation because it still stumped me how it ended. Like how could someone start off so strong and then just fumble so spectacularly? Anyway, as much as it sucked, I started to care less about it. In fact, I was starting to feel like it was time to start compiling the songs I wrote about that affair and it reinvigorated my creativity to listen to this song. I can’t wait for MICHELLE’s new album and I might need to see them live in the fall.

Wonderful Nothing by Glass Animals

“I’m trying to stop but I still love you…”

Fuck it another Glass Animals song. When they released their album, this song IMMEDIATELY blew my mind. I dare say it’s the best song I’ve heard all year. It’s sonically so interesting, the lyrics equal parts fun and creative, and the emotions so intense. And this is the part of the season where something awakened in me. I mean two things by that. First of all, Dave Bayley got the sexy villain vibe DOWN and it might’ve been the much needed seed of a rockstar crush to keep me going. Second of all, hearing this song made me feel like it was high time to take that revenge anger and alchemize it into my my biggest dreams. It’s always a strange moment when the grief produces anger because I never see it coming. It’s nice knowing that anger isn’t the primary emotion this time, but there’s still a bit of it to motivate me into strutting into my next chapter.

Just Want You by Never Ending Fall

“Tell me all of your sins, your demons, I’ll pretend I’m God…”

My pals in Never Ending Fall not only released a damn good album, but apparently they said this song might be showing up in a movie. And HELL YEA BECAUSE THIS SONG IS SO GOOD. And that last line, shoutout to Conrad Boyd because that lyric is genius. The song is so dreamy and romantic and I’ll be damned if I don’t have someone to share this song with soon. I might’ve not fallen in love this summer but I’m proud of myself for being open to dating. Of course I was still a bit distracted by realizing my ex had been the closest I’ve ever been to loving someone, but it felt like a necessary good to be open to someone new. I at least got to tell him about how cool Never Ending Fall is and show him both a Bad Suns song and a Glass Animals song.

For Cryin’ Out Loud! by FINNEAS

“You’re wearing me out, but I love you the same…”

FINNEAS released a BOP this summer. And yes here’s where I tell you Miles, drummer of Bad Suns, contributed to this song. I’d be remiss in saying that I used this bop to daydream about my ex checking in on me trying to live my best life this summer. It was probably the anger speaking that into me lol. I mean the last time I saw him trying to check in was when I was in London. While that did throw me off, I was starting to understand that the end of processing that situation was coming. And it felt like the most compassionate thing for me to feel these last feelings.

Coping on Unemployment by Del Water Gap

“And it’s hard to give yourself over to somethin’…”

I mean if there’s one thing I did this summer it was cope on unemployment lol. I saw Del Water Gap open for The Japanese House in concert and it made me realize that I’d been unfairly thinking they were overrated because the Spotify algorithm had been pushing their music on me for years now. But this song and a couple others helped give me space to process everything this season. To me, this song represented the look back after taking a few baby steps whether I was starting my part-time job, dating the French man, and figuring out my new daily routine. It’s almost like a disbelief that I entered a new chapter but I still felt stuck in the past somehow. Holden from Del Water Gap was right, it IS hard to give yourself over to something. But before you know it, you find what you need to keep moving forward.

Good Graces by Sabrina Carpenter

“’Cause no one’s more amazin’ at turnin’ lovin’ into hatred…”

Sabrina ATE. Short n’ Sweet was the main pop girlie shit we knew she’d give. I really loved the way she is funny in her lyrics. To me, this Christina Aguilera inspired bop, felt like the new post-“Wonderful Nothing” attitude being born in me. I am so done with extending my good graces to men that don’t know how to treat me. Because girl, I am AMAZING at turning love into hatred. Just wait ’til you hear MY songs about these boys. But seriously, I feel like I’m turning a corner in my love life. And it feels so good to acknowledge and celebrate that.

Blue Moon by NIKI

“Was it written in the stars that we’d meet a little too soon?”

Perhaps the hardest thing this season was acknowledging that part of me is always gonna love my ex. Yes, I’ve grieved the whole situation for what feels like lifetimes and it feels like part of me will grieve it for lifetimes to come. No one’s ever made me feel so free to be messy and wild. He awakened something in me that felt so special, but it was also so scary to be mirrored by someone like that. Like him, I’ve always struggled with being seen as good and this time, I was ready to abandon that for the sake of something real. But he was scared of himself not being seen as good. Being mirrored by someone is scary, I can relate. But I hope he is doing well. I’ll miss him deeply, but I know I have to move on. As NIKI says, in another song: “to my benefit and your colossal loss”. (Also two side notes: one, NIKI’s album is AMAZING – you gotta listen to it and two, it feels like the cutest bit of karma that I found my voice in NIKI’s newest music because she is from the same country as my ex’s family.)

Life Itself by Glass Animals

“Cut down back to my knees, gotta get back, gotta get free…”

A THIRD Glass Animals song because it’s my frickin’ blog and I only want to listen to them since I saw them live and fell head over heels in love with Dave Bayley. No but for real, this song feels like my main character song for the summer. I too can’t get a (full-time) job and still live with my mom lol. I feel this song coursing through my veins as I have been taking those baby steps into the life I want to live now and next year. It kind of furthers the sentiment in “Wonderful Nothing” to me. In a few ways, it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under me in the past year but it’s up to me to renovate the whole damn floor. And while it’s scary to redefine what success and happiness look like to me in this season, it’s the most free I’ve felt in years.

Show Pony by Glass Animals

“Now you’re coming back to show us that girl so roll those credits ’cause the sequel’s gonna hurt…”

Fuck it, a FOURTH Glass Animals song. Do you understand how down bad I am now? Does it make sense? How much of a chokehold Dave Bayley has me in? He just GETS me right now and I am obsessed with whatever that mind of his creates. Even though I’ll unpack this further during my album of the year reflection, I just need you all to know that all the encouragement I need for the next couple seasons of life is in this song. There are so many exciting things I’m heading into and it truly feels like a new chapter is setting in. Most importantly though, I’m gearing up to share my first self-written, self-produced music project. It’s terrifying but also the last time I was this excited and scared to unveil something of mine was when I started this blog 5 years ago. I KNOW, FIVE YEARS AGO. But I can tell this is gonna be something that grows, just like this blog has. And a Show Pony’s gotta do what a Show Pony’s gotta do.

Albums/EPs you gotta listen to: Brat by Charli XCX, Radiosoul by Alfie Templeman, The Sweater Club by Jelani Aryeh, The Secret of Us by Gracie Abrams, God Said No by Omar Apollo, MEGAN by Megan Thee Stallion, Charm by Clairo, Big Ideas by Remi Wolf, Vertigo by Griff, I Love You So F***ing Much by Glass Animals, Say It Back by golda may, American Disco by Never Ending Fall, Buzz by NIKI, Trouble in Paradise by Chlöe, Quantum Baby by Tinashe, Paradise State of Mind by Foster the People, Short n’ Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter, Imaginal Disk by Magdalena Bay, Escaper by Sarah Kinsley, Water the Flowers, Pray for a Garden by Valley, PRATTS & PAIN by Royel Otis, I’m Not Afraid of Music Anymore by COIN, Dayglow by Dayglow, Memoir of a Sparklemuffin by Suki Waterhouse, SHINBANGUMI by Ginger Root

Summer has had me cooking and it’s crazy to start to see the beginnings of how when good things end sometimes, something better is truly on the horizon. Self-compassion continues to carry me, along with all these fantastic songs. Fall, we’ve got some schemes to bring into fruition…and I can’t wait to see what comes it. For now, we work steadily.

P.S. According to Spotify, this is my 100th playlist on the dedicated Spotify account. So cool!! 🎉