Hello from London everyone!! Oh God, Spring 2025, where do I start!!!! Before you say “Kelly why are we screaming?”, I just have to start by saying holy crap, life feels really magical at the time I’m writing this blog post and I’m sorry, I just can’t hide it. Life has been feeling like the sweetest redemption after what feels like 2 and a half years of crying because everything felt off. This time I’m crying because everything feels so right. It scares me a little that the moments I’ve felt lately feel so good. This spring, I finally got to the understanding that the old is passing away and a new chapter has started – and it’s potentially the most exciting one yet. With Spring giving way into Summer, it’s time to share some of the songs on my playlist and thoughts on new releases from the season. Stick around for the full playlist.

Winter 2024/2025 was a chaotic time and you can read that recap here. LA was on fire, COIN broke up, and I felt an incredible amount of restlessness. That restlessness carried into the Spring. While my career prospects were looking up as I started full-time music management and social media marketing shenanigans with Peanut Butter Friends, every other part of my life felt like it was either finally in the letting go stage of grief or waiting with baited breath for my late Spring/early summer adventure in Ireland and London. It was weird because I felt perpetually in this “now what?” state of mind. Most days I was either too busy to deal with figuring out the answer to that question or a little like Cameron Diaz’s character in The Holiday (more on that in a second), unable to cry about things that once had made me so so sad (i.e. my ex and my last job). Before I knew it, we barreled through April and I finally released that long ass playlist about my ex – signaling that my heart was now free to figure out what the future held for me.

Similar to April, May flew by – but with little flickers of God’s loving magic for me. I could only tell that by the songs I was listening to and I held onto it while stayed in this holding pattern in LA. My mind and spirit really was just fixated on the restlessness. As much as I had wanted to get back to my music project, I felt like I just didn’t have the mental space to get back to it. So you know what, I’ll let you know when it’s time to get back to that one.

Thankfully, before I knew it, I was on that long awaited plane out of America and into Dublin with my cousins. A sense of hope began to flood my heart and I did my best to relax into it. Dublin and Galway were an adventure in all sorts of the word. It reminded me of my first time in Shanghai 10 years ago as we tried to navigate a new place with old world quirks. I did my best to balance work and life while traveling. I learned that 3 hour train rides are an excellent time to organize your life. But even then, I felt like I was falling short of trying to be the best employee and the best travel buddy. Thanks to my cousins and my bosses for being patient and welcome to the idea. I felt super anxious about the fact that I couldn’t 100% be present in either place from like 4pm to midnight.

But then came my two bucket list dreams come true: 1) I jetted off to London by myself to try on living like a Londoner and 2) I went to SXSW London and opened my mind to new ways of doing and thinking of things. SXSW, despite its chaos and controversy, was a serendipitous meeting of the minds. I found myself continually inspired and realized that the music industry can really be as simple as telling someone you love their music and asking what you can do to help. It’s really simplified my approach to networking and building bridges. I saw so many great talks and absorbed so much good music, it’s been really special.

But that serendipity was not just sequestered to that conference. No, the magic that I can only define as God’s Holy Spirit moving through the most perfect coincidences has been like THE main theme of my time in London. From new friends to perfect summer weather to stumbling upon the most “Kelly core” things to seemingly catching all the right buses and trains, everything I’ve experienced has made me feel like I am exactly where I need to be. I needed to have all those endings over the last couple years. I needed to experience all that pain those last couple of years. I needed to feel restlessness in LA to drive me into the arms of this wonderful city. And honestly, that’s all made me fall in love with London in a way that has been healing me. It’s like London itself is telling me that this is the next chapter of my life, healing journey and all.

As tempted as I’ve been to ask “how???” and “how soon can I move here?” and “how long will that chapter be??”, the lesson so far has been to slow down. Because it’s there that the healing is taking place. And God knows I’ve learned that I’m impatient as fuck.

That said, I’ve been finding SO MUCH JOY in slowing down. This city was meant for me and I for this city. Also, I may be burying the lead here but…I’ve falling in love with an English man here. And it’s mutual!! He said it first lol. He’s so cute and funny and sweet and musical and creative and kind and I am just beyond grateful for all the time we’ve gotten to spend together. There’s really something so special between us. It’s like I’ve found someone I could heal with and he makes all my past just sort of float away. Not only has he been really the first man I’ve dated that’s made me feel safe, but he can testify to all the magic that’s been happening to me. God’s given both of us the same sense that I’m definitely supposed to be here in London. And it feels especially sweet that I get to share all of it with him specifically. I don’t want to ruin the moment by sharing my fears about what happens after I go back to LA (because I’ve been talking about that with him), but I hang onto the hope he gave me by saying “well, I’m just excited for you to come back.” Also one of the greenest flags, he checked out this blog and it produced an example of the magic that I have to share. Apparently I’ve written about one of his sister’s songs before…

Overall, Spring 2025 has felt like a rollercoaster ride into the life I’ve needed to live. I too look forward to the doors God’s gonna open for me in London after this trip. I’m gonna try my best to not get too restless about it when I get back to LA. (Which by the way, I’ve been absolutely heartbroken by the chaos from the ICE raids. But again, I’ve been encouraged by the resilience and eagerness to come together for the second time this year. God I hope you protect the city I come from.)

For now, London, keep showing me why I need to be here. I’m so happy to get to slow down and let God heal me through this city and the people I’ve let into my life here. I’m not looking forward to leaving at the beginning of July. But like my new lover said, I’m excited for when I get to come back.

Anyway, here’s the soundtrack of Spring 2025 in all its restless to redemptive glory.

Highlights

Busy Woman by Sabrina Carpenter

“Yeah, I’m a busy woman, I wouldn’t let you come into my calendar any night…”

If there was one thing that Spring was, it was BUSY. Starting full-time with Peanut Butter Friends meant everyday I needed to figure out how to approach work and really own everything I was doing. I didn’t really have time for anything except work, trying to take care of myself, and putting myself in places that made me feel less lonely. That said, restlessness was a BIG theme of the first part of the spring.

Ojos Tristes by Selena Gomez, Benny Blanco, and The Marías

“Han pasado dos años, te sigo pensando en todos mis sentidos…”

Selena Gomez’s album was a bit of a toss up for me, but this one stuck out immediately. It interpolates a song in Spanish that I grew up listening to called “Muchacho de los ojos tristes”
by Jeanette. The verse from The Marías clocked me though. Even though I was doing it less than before, I still couldn’t stop thinking about my ex. After all, it would soon be the 2 year anniversary of when we met. This one felt like the P.S. I love you and I started to think of him less.

Bluest Flame by Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco

“Ah, I just wanna go all night, I just wanna go insane, touchin’ in the summer rain, hotter than the bluest flame, hotter than the bluest flame…”

The other song from the project that I really loved was this one. I had this song stuck in my head and I just wanted to manifest this for me. Charli XCX lent her brat summer magic to this song and honestly, I was vibing to it all spring to offset the feelings of being stuck in the past. This song gave me things to daydream about.

oyster by Chloe Moriondo

“I am floating under all the pressure, giving up what I don’t need…”

As soon as I heard this song, it felt like how I’ve been feeling stepping into this new chapter of my life. I’ve changed in the past year and you know what, the world really is my oyster. This one is an omen of siren summer, the redo.

Kawasaki by LATASHÁ

“Cut from a different cloth…”

I was so pumped to help LATASHÁ launch this absolute banger of a song through Peanut Butter Friends. She really is such an electrifying performer with a big vision. This song just exudes this cool girl confidence and was instrumental in me stepping into the new chapter I was starting.

Link by Djo

“A link is breaking outta the chain…”

It might have taken a while but I finally understood the much deserved hype for Djo. This song captured the energy I was feeling as I stepped into this chapter. The restless energy of being in LA still needed a voice in a rock song, and this one was it.

Stuart Little Killed God (On 2nd Avenue) by Ben de la Cour

“Raining down fire from the astral plane, Stuart Little killed God on 2nd avenue…”

Ben was one of the clients for Peanut Butter Friends and this silly song got me good. Ben makes what’s been called Americanoir music, which is like Americana music but with a darker edge to it. His music is so compelling and he just released his album “New Roses” so if you’re into some Americana with some edge, it may be up your alley! This one may be on the sillier side (because YES it is about the mouse) but that’s why I loved getting it stuck in my head.

12065 by grentperez

“12065 away in a dream while you’re starting your day…”

grentperez is who that ex wishes he was. I really loved his album Backflips in a Restaurant because of how versatile it was. On one hand, you have this dreamy love song about long distance and then you have this absolute banger called “2DK” that just moves in such in the moment passion. I can’t recommend that album enough.

You, In the Afternoon by Vacation Manor

“Thought about the ending but I don’t need to know right now with you, in the afternoon…”

It was the biggest honor to be able to interview Vacation Manor about their newest EP. This song seemed to capture the beauty of slowing down for once in my life. I remember this song soundtracking how my Easter was spent, just talking and laughing with new friends at a park after church. I really tried my best to slow down this spring because I knew it was the antidote to the restlessness I was fighting with all my might.

Last Girls At the Party by The Beaches

“I’m not gonna slow down, I’ll never look as hot as I do now…”

So about that restlessness…lol. This song had me daydreaming about being in London in late spring/early summer, especially at SXSW London with an insane amount of energy. Because in my eyes, I was about to live it UP. God forbid a girl gets excited about leaving her hometown to be a different version of herself somewhere else!!

Back To Me by The Marías

“Promise I’m changing…”

I was so happy to see The Marías getting the hype they’ve deserved. This song sat in a funny place in my heart. On one hand, I was here for the dreaminess. On the other, I was really tired and over thinking about that ex. I didn’t know if I wanted him to come back anymore. I just wanted to stop thinking about him. I wanted to be free from my all too familiar pattern of yearning for someone who had made it clear by their actions that I wasn’t a priority for them.

Lonely Night by Trousdale

“And it wasn’t my year last year, I barely made it out. Started stuck in my house on the couch. It’s different now…”

Trousdale makes country-adjacent music feel palatable to me lol. Their latest album really got me GOOD. And this song specifically captured the restlessness I was wrestling for most of spring. I didn’t need another lonely night on the couch torturing myself trying to finish One Tree Hill lol. It also gave me space to acknowledge that 2024 for all its (in the end) blessings, was still a shit show. I grieved my way through that year and I was longing for something new to take shape. I sought familiar comfort in concerts but more so in making friends in random places and letting my curiosity guide me again.

Fireflies by Riley Owens

“Hey you’re gonna work yourself to death…”

A major shoutout to my friend Riley who is the literal reason I work in music. He interviewed me when I was applying to Output. He eventually left the company to focus on his music. The project he’s rolling out is just so brilliant and vibey. I was so overjoyed to reconnect and meet him in person when he came to LA this Spring. He really gave me such good perspective about the past year of my life and realizing that I had not even peaked while at Output. This song is a beautiful reminder that we are more than the work we do.

Cannibal by Sid Dorey

“But my bones are your bones, you’re eating your own, nobody’s born a cannibal…”

This song by one of Peanut Butter Friends’ management clients is a BOP. I constantly went back to this song because it was always getting stuck in my head. It’s got so many interesting elements in it that just tickle my brain in the best way. Sid’s EP “Middle Seat” came out this spring and you need to listen to all of it ok thanks bye.

blade bird by oklou

“You’re so cute and now your blade is on the bird…”

I got served a TikTok ad with this song and this video so many times and eventually I caved. It proved to be the best discovery. This song is so pretty and ethereal and so sonically interesting. So yeah artists – ads work sometimes!!

Slow Karma by Bad Suns

“Don’t you dare give up on yourself thunderclouds are forming…”

New Bad Suns song? You KNOW it’s time for me to read too deeply into my life lol. No, in all seriousness, this song helped me start to make sense of the past year. I was fully steeping in the fact that the way I was living my life in the last year was not for me anymore. LA had slowly not been feeling like home with me taking the attitude of “don’t tempt me with another miserable evening” AND “don’t remind me it’s another beautiful morning”. This song met me in my restlessness as I was trying to move on from that perpetual grief I had seemingly been stuck in. It’s like Christo was telling me things are gonna change because you’ve already committed to changing. And I couldn’t wait to see it.

London by Badflower

“And we could move to London tonight…”

Oh if I knew how right this song would be hehehehe. Naturally with spring turning to summer and my restlessness hitting a peak, I set my daydreams on the month I’d be spending in London. I had no idea what I’d experience here. I just wanted something different from my boring, comfortable life in Los Angeles. I wanted to walk everywhere, try new foods, make new friends, maybe even take a lover. I just knew that life would change.

Shiver by Bermuda Search Party

“She took a dive, gave her bones for fins…”

I went to see Bermuda Search Party after being a casual fan since the pandemic. They performed this song acoustic and in five part harmony and it gave me CHILLS. I literally cried listening to this song on the way back home because it spoke to the leap of faith I’d be taking in living a new life for a month in London. As excited as I was for it, I felt a sadness about the fact that I knew I had to leave LA for some time. I didn’t expect to contend with that. But this song helped me move through that feeling. This band has such good energy and AMAZING musicianship and I walked away from the concert a new fan. Go listen to their entire discography it is banger after banger.

Shadow of a Man by Lady Gaga

“Dance in the shadow of a man…”

By the time I got to late April and had published my behemoth of a playlist about my ex, I knew I had to check in with myself about where I was. This song rose above the noise. I felt liberated by giving myself closure and I had been thinking about him less. I had no choice but to dance in the shadow of that man as I prepared to truly move on.

twilight zone by Ariana Grande

“Not that I miss you, I don’t. Sometimes I just can’t believe you happened. It’s not like I’d ever change a thing ’cause I’m right here where I’m meant to be…”

Even though I felt it was time to move on, I occasionally got nostalgic about him and I knew it was best to let that flow. I remember listening to this song at first and not relating to it, but after a while I felt myself in it. I hadn’t wanted to let that love story go for so long because something about it had felt so special. Like why had it been so special and short-lived? That mystery stayed with me until quite recently when I realized it needed to spur the breakdown and growth I went through. This song feels like an ode to that feeling of “sometimes I just can’t believe you happened”.

Let Me Be Wrong by Jensen McRae

“And I’ve been good too long, let me be wrong…”

As my friend Maddy said, this song IS Kelly core. This song met me in my preparation for my Ireland/London trip. I knew I was entering a new chapter and the only way I’d be able to live it well is if I chose to let myself be wrong. So I let myself steep in it. Jensen’s entire album is just full of so much amazing songwriting so you have to go listen to it.

Spine Oil by Samia

“You’ve mistaken my joy for weakness. Baby, your mistake, you’re mistaken, it won’t go down easy…”

Samia really came through swinging with this song. I found myself listening to this one a lot because I feel like my joy does get mistaken for weakness. As someone very important to me recently told me, the ability to feel so deeply means that the joy I feel is also felt super deeply. And I’ve learned to love that about me. Also her entire album is so good.

arrow by half-alive

“The hardest place to be is right where you are…”

I saw half-alive perform in early May and this song really helped me wrestle with the ongoing restlessness. I really couldn’t handle staying in LA anymore but also I had no idea if that meant I should be in London. I was in between a lot of things, just kinda stuck in a holding pattern. It was so frustrating. But I was happy to have a song to help me move through the feeling. Also insane, I discovered the lead singer of half-alive goes to the same church as me and that felt not only validating but like God was winking at me lol.

WHITE PAPER PALM TREES by Lights

“I put you away white paper palm trees…”

This song felt like me waving goodbye to LA as a whole. I was restless for a lot of it but I still felt sadness towards it. I knew I had been changing and it’s like my environment needed to change. I cried listening to this song recently in London and it felt like the full circle moment that I had crossed the threshold. Now, I am still going back in July but emotionally, I feel like I’m supposed to be in London. So I have to follow that and pray that God makes that possible.

I Quit For Summer by LACES

“I’ve had enough, it’s such a bummer…”

LACES is part of the Peanut Butter Friends cinematic universe and I’ve been so excited to discover her music. This absolute BOP is the perfect kiss off to corporate America and inevitably coordinating content for her socials has meant that her songs get stuck in my head. She’s such a badass and this song feels like the best way to kick off summer.

Telephones and Traffic by Frances Anderson

“And I couldn’t let it go, let it go this time…”

Working with Frances Anderson has been one of the coolest things I’ve ever done and that’s a big thank you to Peanut Butter Friends. Frances Anderson aka Lily from Modern Family has been making a pivot to music and it’s been such a cool learning experience to help her craft her visual identity as an artist. Aubrey’s such a talented songwriter and I’m so excited for the world to hear the rest of the songs on her upcoming EP so you better be tuning in.

ALIVE! by Never Ending Fall

“If you love me, why’d you leave me all alone?…”

In what felt like a final letting go of my ex, Never Ending Fall released this song. I remember when the boys would show the demo on stream and all of us NEF fam folks would collectively lose our minds. I personally lost my mind because the yearning in this song was hitting me so deeply. The footage being taken on April 28th (his birthday) felt like the last synchronicity ever in the love story. Because after I listened to this song and cried a few times, I started to feel next to nothing about him. It was a strange feeling but it’s like I had this song to remind me that my love – as all-consuming as it had felt – had never actually gone to waste.

Parachute by Joe Jonas

“I’m starting to believe that heartbreak only lasts a couple seasons…”

This is why Joe Jonas forever has my heart. I’d been waiting MONTHS for his album Music For People Who Believe in Love to drop and honestly him dropping it right before I jetted off to Europe felt like a kiss on the forehead as I set off on my journey. I was heading to Ireland for the first time to go explore the rich history and beauty with my cousins and then I would be going to live in an adaptation of The Holiday with my London friend Grace staying at the extra room at my parents’ house and I staying at her flat in northern Camden for June. This song reminded me that I was in a new season and as scary as it felt to be branching off on my own in what felt like a selfish way, this song gave me peace that I’d be fine. A new chapter was starting and I was dusting off my parachute.

Keeping Score by Beeson

“I try to speak kindly, never ask for more, ’til I saw God they said they’re not keeping score…”

The entire first week in London (at SXSW London, a bucket list dream come true!!), I kept going back to this song at the end of every day. At the end of that first week, I felt myself realizing that God was telling me I was safe in London. There was massive chaos happening in LA and I felt guilty that I was so happy here. I was making new friends, networking with so many amazing people, experiencing new things, and even starting to date someone really wonderful. I knew that these blessings were FOR ME but it’s like I was fighting the shape-shifted people pleaser version of me that was telling me that I didn’t deserve to be this happy. I had to tell that version of me to fuck off because that’s not at all what God was wanting for me. I started to feel a sense of freedom and it really opened me up. And this song helped ease my mind about it all.

More Time by Alfie Jukes

“Whole world in a suitcase, things are falling into the right place…”

This is one of those love songs that double as worship songs. I had this blissful joyful song stuck in my head all season and it’s crazy how it captures how I’m feeling now. Themes of love and home and time and slowing down circle around this song and it really speaks to me. I felt anxious and restless for a lot of the Spring but it seems like God has been leading me into this place of love and surrender. He is the love of my life and it’s that love that’s overflowing into all these new areas of my life. Like the idea of having a new home in London. And starting a new life here.

Only Love by Joe Jonas

“She said boy it’s only love, let it in…”

Folks, this is where I confess that as I end spring and start summer 2025, I am in love. I am in love with God and the crazy things He’s set in motion for me. I am in love with London. I am in love with the way my new life is changing me. And I am in love with a wonderful English man named Luke. (And yes, he has the Joe Jonas vibe haha.) I am so in awe of everything that has happened this June and I can’t even begin to explain how or why this all just transpired. All I know is it was meant to. I’ve never felt so seen and although I’m trying to keep from romanticizing everything too much, I think that’s exactly the season I’m in and you know what, it is ok to lean into it, to slow down in it, to “hit it like a drug and breathe it in”. There’s a new era of healing upon me and I’m ready to let it do the good work.

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT SECTION – SXSW EDITION

As I mentioned, I got the absolute privilege of going to SXSW London (the first one ever). I was so in awe of all the artists I discovered so I wanted to do a little shoutout section for those artists.

LDYA — incredibly soulful and her song “Home” had me and Luke playfully nudging each other when we heard it live

Jackson Rouse — his voice blew me away and I’m so excited for his new music

Kerensa — their song “Creature” made me cry, especially when they sang in Mandarin

DEJA — she’s bubbly and spicy and that makes her such a great performer and artist. I’m so here for her.

The Lilacs — such an awesome band, thank you for letting me pretend I was “Grace” when you performed 🥰

Charlotte OC — she played a currently unreleased song called “Strange Influence” and it’s one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. Such a strong, beautiful and unique voice.

Cassia — they absolutely killed it. I was in love with the vibe they created.

Eden J Howells — their lyrics were so beautiful, I quite literally stood there and cried to their set.

Charlie Austen — I loved the fact that she basically did a one woman band situation. She was just so cool.

TYGERMYLK — They were just such a sweet and quirky soul. I really loved hearing their stories.

Albums/EPs you gotta listen to: I Said I Love You First by Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco, eternal sunshine deluxe: brighter days ahead by Ariana Grande, Forever is a Feeling by Lucy Dacus, More by Wallows, The Crux by Djo, Backflips in a Restaurant by grentperez, Little House by Rachel Chinouriri, Growing Pains by Trousdale, BLOOM by SOZI, Stoner by Eyedress, Middle Seat by Sid Dorey, All Dressed Up For Nothing by Alfie Jukes, Fools on Parade by Bermuda Search Party, At the Beach, In Every Life by Gigi Perez, I Don’t Know How But They Found Me! by Jensen McRae, Bloodless by Samia, If You Asked For a Picture by Blondshell, A6 by Lights, If That Makes Sense by Spacey Jane, Sincerely, by Kali Uchis, Music For People Who Believe In Love by Joe Jonas, Fancy That by Pink Pantheress, PRINCESS OF POWER by MARINA

Spring, you crazy crazy time. I’m starting Summer with a brand new life and brand new set of challenges for sure. But I am just so grateful. So many new things to explore and navigate and I feel ready for it.