You know I’ve been dying to live like this…

Sister Ray, Foxes

Phew, February was a WHIRLWIND in the best way possible. Like, for me, January was January and then Miss February stepped out in her sparkly boots like “girl, it’s time to move FORWARD!” There’s one song that seems to capture the excitement I’m barreling through life with after my eventful February.

The song “Sister Ray” by Foxes is a dance floor anthem that reminds me of ‘the before times’ and somehow feels energetically in line with the shenanigans my 26-year-old self is getting into.

Foxes, aka Louisa Rose Allen, is a pop singer-songwriter from Southampton, UK and you might remember her voice from the song “Clarity” by Zedd or the Fall Out Boy song “Just One Yesterday”. She released a FABULOUS pop album in February called The Kick and after listening to it in full last week, I’m telling you that you gotta go listen to it if you want a good dance party. There’s a lot of amazing dance pop songs on the album, but the song “Sister Ray” is a twinkling vibe and a half.

With pounding drum beats, euphoric synths, a catchy chorus, and unforgettable disco-like syncopated rhythms, this song sounds like the inside of a disco ball. And I love me a disco ball moment ANY TIME. But there’s more to this sparkly dance pop confection.

First of all, Foxes is referencing The Velvet Underground’s “Sister Ray” which is a noise rock-y song about…well, let’s just use Foxes’s words, a “debaucherous night.” Second of all, in a short video, she describes that the song was written during lockdown as a “longing to let go” as in the before times. And boy, this song FEELS like letting go. Which, if I’m being honest, seemed to be the theme of February for me.

I had my own “Sister Ray kind of night” when I saw Bad Suns for two nights back to back the week before my birthday. I hadn’t left the house really at all since December 2021 so it was weird to be dancing my butt off, having the time of my life sweating, screaming, and sobbing through a mask among a bunch of people.

I had VIP tickets the second night and quite literally made a couple dreams come true. What I mean by that is I not only was at barricade for my second night, but I somehow found the confidence to talk to the man, the muse, the legend, Christo Bowman of Bad Suns about collaborating via my day job. Yes, me. The total fangirl that has not shut up about Bad Suns from the moment she started this blog. The confidence that I had while talking to him gave me a picture of this new version of me that’s been breaking out. And she sounds like the effervescence of Foxes’s “Sister Ray”.

After processing the fact that I did that plus the showers of love I got on my birthday (including the fact that my bestie Juliette got me a simple but encouraging Cameo message from Christo), I’ve been left with this potent energy that is focused on owning my talents and making things happen. It’s such a contrast from the paralyzing self-doubt I’ve struggled with for so many years. I will say though, I’m actively fighting the impostor syndrome that wants to keep me in the past. The work never ends down here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In a really weird way though, I feel like I’m starting to live the life I wanted to live two years ago. Except I understand now that I wasn’t ready for it then. It’s like I had to go through the growing pains for the past two years of the pandemic to get to a more level-headed place. Because this time, I feel ready for it. Not only is it easier for me to move confidently because of the ways I’ve learned to let go, but I have a much more mature perspective on what I’m on a mission for.

For example, me from late 2019 would have never believed she could coherently talk to Christo of Bad Suns. She would’ve easily forgotten that he’s by all accounts a normal person who just hope s to play music I enjoy. Me from today did coherently talk to him though and is developing a follow up plan to collaborate. Do I still look up to him? Yeah, duh! Have you seen the man and his many talents? I will not rest until many more people know how great Bad Suns is. However, I’m not intimidated by being around someone as talented as him because I realize that one, he’s still a human being that’s learning how to navigate this messy world and two, to use words from his Cameo message, “that’s where you and I can relate”.

See, my newfound perspective allows me to take off the adolescent blinders of notoriety and artistic admiration to paint a bigger picture about what connects me with the artists I’m inspired by. I fully believe that as long as the world continues to be messy, there will be talented artists trying to make sense of it and people seeking inspiration from that art. I want to be someone that helps highlight and emphasize the art that inspires me in the unique way I can: through the lens of processing my messy, very human feelings. That’s something to throw a “Sister Ray kind of night” for, if you ask me.

Anyway, if anyone needs me, I will be at the last show of the Apocalypse Whenever tour — don’t act surprised that I drove from LA to San Diego for this. BUT, if you’re in the need for a good dance party or a song that makes you feel surrounded by powerful love and confidence like in ‘the before times’, check out “Sister Ray” by Foxes and just try to get it out of your head.