Hi folks. I wasn’t planning on doing a post this week but I’m making this playlist for myself because I need it right now.

If you haven’t heard, Roe vs. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court and in a Pontius Pilate-esque turn of events, abortion rights have been turned to states to decide. I’m angry and sad at this decision and sitting with the reality that some people have the audacity to allow people with uteruses to be treated as second class citizens in this day and age.

This decision hurts me as a woman, person of color, as a non-rich person, and as a Christian. I know there’s a lot of Christians out there that are celebrating this because it “protects the sanctity of life”. But in my heart of hearts, I think it does more harm to that. There is simply no sound infrastructure in aspects related to protecting the sanctity of every life involved in the process of bringing in a child this world. I’m talking about women’s healthcare, childcare, foster care, and financial help. These systems are not just fallible, but broken and not everyone has the luxury of millions of dollars to fix their problems.

What some people (men) fail to understand is that choosing to bring a child into this world requires SO much of a person with a uterus. Their body, finances, spirit, soul, strength—EVERYTHING. Pregnancy is a terrifying and horrific experience and yes, it produces the MIRACLE of life. You don’t fully know it unless you’ve experienced it and bringing a child into this world is not a decision that should ever be taken lightly. SO MANY THINGS can go wrong during a pregnancy that could lead to the need for an abortion and some people (men) simply don’t understand the science. Also, some people never wanted to become pregnant in the first place for their own reasons and that’s just as valid.

Expressing these thoughts and feelings on this is new to me and my sentiments have only become stronger since I’ve sought to educate myself. I can’t stay silent anymore because I see I’m hurting myself in that.

Similarly, I’ve been in this process of learning to accept and validate my angry feelings. As a recovering people pleaser, I’d gotten so used to stuffing down my anger and staying silent on controversies even though they pained my big, God-given compassionate heart. That’s when I learned to turn to music, songwriting, and art to help me express in coded and explicit ways what I was feeling.

So that’s why I’m turning to angry music right now. Throughout history, women have been put in places where their voices, thoughts, and feelings are dampened. That’s why I’ve always found it POWERFUL when women make music and art to express their experience of being a woman. It’s protest against the systems that oppress. So that’s the inspiration behind this playlist. We need to acknowledge and vent out these feelings because once the anger has been vocalized, then the work can start. Then the compassion and acts of love can flow. Then the organizing and community can build.

If you’re feeling motivated to donate to abortion funds, do that. If you’re needing community, go to a local protest. If you want to make your voice heard, vote in local elections and contact your senators. If you’re inspired to get involved in women’s health care, foster care, or child care organizations, do that. This is the time to use our talents and resources to really affect change. May our hearts soften and stay open to the millions of experiences that make abortion the complicated issue that it is.

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